Mike and Kathy Parry’s skin cancer journeys began with a visit to the Melanoma New Zealand spot check van outside their favourite Burnsco store in August 2024.
Turn the clock forward and both Mike and Kathy have been diagnosed with melanoma, each undergoing significant surgery. Left with large scars, and the experience still very fresh in their minds, the west Auckland couple is frank and authentic in sharing what each of them has gone through.
Mike and Kathy are keen boaties
Mike (60) knew he had a 2cm diameter spot on his back that was ‘pretty ugly’ while for Kathy (54), a very small spot on her neck was visible, but not particularly worrying her.
When Mike saw the opportunity for a free spot check, he suggested they make the most of it.
We love our fishing, and we go to Burnsco regularly down at Westgate. I noticed the Melanoma New Zealand van was going to be there, so I said let’s go get checked.
The ladies were lovely. The nurse identified that the spot on Kathy’s neck looked like it could be something serious, and she also said the one on my back needed to get checked.”
Around a week later a local doctor saw the couple, agreeing both spots were suspicious and recommending a different course of action for each. Kathy had hers removed that same day with a small incision and three stitches, while Mike’s larger lesion would require a skin specialist to perform an excision.
The couple felt floored when tests confirmed both their spots were melanoma. It meant Kathy was referred to a skin specialist as well, and a revision surgery might be needed.
Thinking this meant another minor procedure, Kathy wasn’t mentally prepared for what the specialist explained he needed to do to mitigate the risk of the melanoma spreading – a wide local excision around an initial scar can be needed to ensure there are no abnormal cells remaining.
Kathy’s scar soon after surgery
It was huge. The second incision went to about 12 centimetres long and it was full thickness,” explains Kathy.
It looked like Dracula’s family had had a good go at my neck. I came home and it really hit me – I’m not a crier, but I just burst into tears.”
The shock took a toll, and Mike watched his wife go through a tough emotional patch, uncharacteristically not wanting to leave the house, or see friends and family. Both are typically positive and self-motivated, but the pair reflects that despite being grateful the melanomas were caught early, the experience has been mentally challenging for them.
While Kathy was struggling to adjust to the physical and emotional impact, Mike found himself grappling with his own experience, as well as seeing his wife in such distress.
Mike’s scar after surgery
Mike says that being a bloke, and the fact his large scar was on his back and usually hidden, he wasn’t too fazed and ready to tell tall-tales of a ‘shark-bite’ if he got the chance. But it was different for Kathy.
“Every time she looked in the mirror, she saw it. And she really, really struggled emotionally and physically that she had this big incision scar on her neck,” says Mike.
Now Kathy feels fortunate that her scar is barely visible, settling and improving dramatically after the stitches were removed.
“That moment was a godsend. I walked out of there feeling like a brand-new person.”
Keen boaties and gardeners, they were initially very sun-shy following their diagnoses and stopped doing the outdoor things they love. Now, they’ve reconciled that the surgeries have given them the opportunity to enjoy the things they’re passionate about for many years to come and they’re back on the boat, on the golf course and in the garden – protecting their skin with sunscreen, hat, sunglasses and clothing.
Mike says, “We went through this emotional rollercoaster thinking we had one melanoma, and we didn’t want to go through it again. We considered staying inside all the time, but that felt like being imprisoned”
It’s only now we’re starting to feel more mentally prepared to go out in the sun. We’re not going to let the fact that we had melanomas cut out define the rest of our lives.”
They now have more recreational time too. Mike and Kathy have dialled back their workloads as business-owners and are consciously giving their mental and physical health greater focus.
As parents to two daughters in their twenties, they’ve made a commitment to prioritise their health – doing everything they can to be there for their family for many years to come.
Although neither has a family history of melanoma, both admit to spending lots of time outside over the years. Kathy grew up in the Waimauku area where the couple lives now, and she recalls growing up with days at the beach, hours spent horse-riding and the like.
“I’ve always been a very outdoorsy person,” she says. “But sun protection was never something in the forefront of my mind. I guess I’m paying the price of not having been that careful about it.
Now I wear sunscreen every day and I have the most ridiculous-looking hat when I’m on the boat. It’s huge and it’s fantastic.”
Mike confirms he’s changed his attitude to protecting his skin too, and he’s also taken a proactive approach to encouraging others to be vigilant with their health, particularly his male counterparts. He’s taken to social media and has conversations with friends, sharing a strong message; “Guys… don’t think you’re bulletproof. Melanoma can happen to anyone. Get checked.”
Mike and Kathy have only good things to say about the Melanoma New Zealand community service.
“I think that having the pop-up melanoma spot checks is absolutely fantastic. I really do,” says Kathy.